Old Original Poem, Perfectly Flawed

Looking into the mirror,
What do you see?
A picture of a person tainted by their past?
Countless scars shine before you
As tears fall to the floor.
You think of many people with promises unkept.
Now there's no one to turn to,
You fear you've hurt them all,
But something deep inside you
Tells you that you're wrong.
Somehow you don't believe it
And push it to the side.
But no it comes back with greater force this time
It whispers something soft,
"I love you as you are
And I made you for a reason
For you are perfectly flawed."

Taking My Chances...

I have no idea where I am headed, but what I do know, is that following times of darkness are days of intense brilliance that I can't explain. Things have happened that should have brought me to tears or made me angry, but instead, I rejoiced in God and He made those things beautiful. I'm taking my chances in the new year and living my life in complete dependence on God...I'm trusting Him to lead me through the dark and walking by faith.

I pray you will do the same. It is not easy. In fact, it's harder than anything I've ever done. However, it will be worth it.

"In You I find my meaning, in You I find my beauty."

I Will Not Take My Love Away

Thank you God for not leaving. You spoke to me tonight in the quiet and You told me I needed to be patient. So here I am God waiting for all that You have to show me. I trust and love You. Please don't take Your love away, and I will give all mine to You in the same way. 

Peace...

There is nothing like the feeling of peace coming over and calming a racing heart. Last weekend was really hard. I struggled with not knowing where I was supposed to be going or what I was supposed to be doing and I felt unworthy and useless. God has this way of bringing us back around and I've just been asking for His peace to comfort me and allow me the boldness and patience to deal with these issues and He granted me that peace....He is so wonderful and I praise Him for blessing my life and dropping miracles in my path just so I can see how beautiful life is when it is lived in His glory. Peace of heart when the world crashes down is the most precious gift I could ask for this Christmas season.

Life is beautiful because of the hell we go through. 

God?

I used to think that one day we'd tell the story of us, 

And how we met 

And how the sparks flew instantly 

And people would say they're the lucky ones 

I used to know my place was the spot next to you, 

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat 

Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on 

Oh, a simple complication, 

Miscommunications lead to a fallout, 

So many things that I wish you knew 

So many walls up, I can't break through 

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room 

And we're not speaking 

And I'm dying to know 

Is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah 

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, 

When it all broke down 

And the story of us 

Looks a lot like a tragedy now 

Next chapter 

How did we end up this way? 

See me nervously pulling at my clothes 

And trying to look busy 

And you're doing your best to avoid me 

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us 

How I was losing my mind when I saw you here 

But you held your pride like you should have held me 

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending, 

Why are we pretending this is nothing? 

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how 

I've never heard silence quite this loud. 

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room 

And we're not speaking 

And I'm dying to know 

Is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah 

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, 

When it all broke down 

And the story of us 

Looks a lot like a tragedy now 

This is looking like a contest 

Of who can act like they care less 

But I liked it better when you were on my side 

The battle's in your hands now 

But I would lay my armor down 

If you said you'd rather love than fight 

So many things that you wish I knew 

But the story of us might be ending soon 

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room 

And we're not speaking 

And I'm dying to know 

Is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah 

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate 

When it all broke down 

And the story of us 

Looks a lot like a tragedy now 

Now, now, now 

And were not speaking, 

And I'm dying to know 

Is it killing you 

Like it's killing me? 

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, 

'Cause were going down 

And the story of us 

Looks a lot like a tragedy now 

The End

"Be still and know that I Am God."            I'm so sorry God. 

Beautiful Things..

Wow, who knew God could take something ugly and make it beautiful. God is truly amazing. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a broken life, an ugly life, made whole and restored. I choose to live a radical life. I'm tired of this lukewarm, comfortable, life. No offense, but it just isn't working for me anymore. God has been so good, yet at the first sign of trouble, we start to doubt. Well, I'm done with that. Life is too beautiful to sit around and mope about what could have been, or should have been, or even what will be. It is all about putting your focus in God who can change the course of humanity with a single breath. I choose to put my faith in that kind of Power. Where will you put your faith?

"You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things

 You make beautiful things out of the dust!"

Forever Reign

"You are good, You are good, when there's nothing good in me."

What a beautiful song to hear right after you have a meltdown. Oh goodness, God has made me realize so many things this week and I can't thank Him enough for just loving me the way He does. The biggest thing I learned is about picking other things above Him. How stupid am I to pick people over the Creator of the universe? But God just loves us through our stupidity. Why? I have no earthly idea, but I am proof that God has greater plans. I came from cursing God a couple years ago to praising Him in the darkest moments of my life. Yet he still pursued me and my heart! Love like that doesn't exist here on earth, but I found it in the Father. I hope and pray that one day I will know that kind of love here on earth, but for now, I rest in knowing that I have a Love that does not fail.

Even when you feel like life is unfair and you want to give up, don't. When you stick through the pain for a night, His joy really does come in the morning. He will bless you for keeping the faith and trusting in Him.

When collapse is what you seek, collapse into His arms and may

 "the riches of His love always be enough."